Hobbit Imagines
by TheAmericanPirate
Summary: A series of Imagines. Most are ones i wrote to fill requests from the tumblr blog imaginexhobbit but some are my own. All imagines here will be T and under, i will make a separate story for M rated imagines. I also take requests.


**Could someone write the imagine about getting your period on the way to Erebor? I find that imagine really amusing!**

It wasn't exactly a problem if not more of a major inconvenience. It's not as if you weren't prepared either, you had an entire stash of soft leather straps all ready for use, for your monthly womanly curse. It just came early, is all. So instead of being ready for it and lining you under clothes in privacy that morning you were trapped atop a pony who was happily trotting along as you no doubtablely spread blood all over the seat of its saddle. Every now and then you could feel the sickening squish and liquid spreading over your neither regions. You did in no way have it easy when it came to this time of the month but you were woman enough to not allow it to bother you or stop your daily activities. Until the cramps began. And just as you began to plan a way to sneak to a place quietly on your own the next time Thorin decided be needed to piss bad enough to stop the company there was a small prick of pain in your womb. Then a stronger one. Then another. Slowly it crept along your stomach and dug its claws into your insides twisting and clenching.

You turned to look at who was around you, maybe they wouldn't notice if you allowed yourself to double over in pain for a moment. It had been hard enough allowing this stumbling pack of testosterone to allow you to come along, despite you were fully capable of taking care of yourself (unlike that hobbit creature) but you could not allow them to even thing for a moment you were slowing down or needed help. As a woman there was no room for error. To you left Fili sat lazily on his white pony hardly paying attention to is surrounding and to your right Bofur, in front of you atop a brown pony was Dwalin, you could not see who was behind and didn't dare to look. You doubted that any of them were that stupid to not notice your suspicious movements. You shifted trying to make yourself comfortable, wincing as you did so.

"Lovely day isn't it." Bilbo rode up beside you awkwardly. He smiled broadly. For some reason he had grown fond of talking to you thought you had given him no reason to believe you were any friendlier than the others. You believed it had something to do with the fact that in Hobbit culture the female was the head of the house, maybe you made him feel safe. A complement really but you really didn't have the patience for his gently small talk at this exact moment. In fact as you looked at him all you wanted to do was rip his head from his shoulders and drink from his skull.

So it was going to be one of THOSE weeks.

You grinded your teeth and shifted again as you literally felt a slimy lump of bloody goo slowly slide out of you. You stared Bilbo in the eye pretending nothing was wrong. But how could you with all of these idiots around you! They had no idea what you were going through, about the horror that awaited you inside your trousers! You hated their every single bone for not knowing and suffering along with you.

"I don't see anything particularly nice about it, Master Baggins." You tried not to sound as snappy as you felt.

Unshaken Bilbo looked around. "The sky is blue and clear, there are animals around so there is bound to be a good meal tonight, and not a sight of danger for miles. A rather nice day to go on a pony ride through the woods with decent company if I must say."

"Well it's a good thing you don't actually have to say anything." You snapped louder than you meant to.

"What crawled up your ass and died?" called Kili from the other side of Fili, who was snapping out of his day dream.

There was a distant call of "WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" from Thorin at the front of their little herd.

"Nothing. Leave me alone. All of you." and you turned away from them. And so they did, though Bilbo seemed rather hurt at your refusal to chat. Not a single member bothered to speak to you again the entire rest of the day until it was time to make camp that afternoon. You slid off your pony a little farther away from the others and whipped down the red smears that followed you, your trousers were surely ruined but luckily you had several long layers of jerkins and a tunic that blocked any stains from view. You tied your pony up for the night and quickly gathered a leather strap and clean leggings out of your bag and vanished into the trees to find the stream you and the company had been following. Luckily when you reached it you found it had become more of a cool slow river than a small trickling stream. With a quick glance around you allowed yourself to relax and you fell to your knees and doubled over in pain, taking in deep breaths and letting out small whimpers. You allowed yourself to feel all the pain your body was currently throwing at you as you very slowly unrolled yourself and peeled off your dirty clothes, still on your knees you shuffled into the cool water to wash yourself. The cool water felt good but was nothing like a bladder of hot water that you would have to deny yourself for the sake of your pride. The water around you was swirling with red as you began ringing the red water out of your soiled underclothes. Just being clean was a miracle in its self.

"Hey there! What are you doing lass!" behind you a male voice called. Your entire body clenched and you're back straightened.

"A bit of privacy please! This is ladies-"two blurs shot past you and into the water. The blurs were laughing with each other. Until they saw your embarrassed and quite angry face.

"We saw leave, are you hurt badly?" Fili fell to his knees in the bloody water to help you with whatever injury you had.

It only took moments for Balin, the first voice you had heard, to realize this was no place for young dwarrowlings to be. He rushed over and dragged them out by the ears chastising the boys for being nosy and rude. The poor lads had no idea what they had done wrong. You were to disturbed to happily finish your business now so you quickly packed up and arranged yourself in a comfortable manner before angrily stomping back into camp where you could peacefully curl up and die.

But even the simplest things you are denied. The second your toe crossed into Thorins line of site he was upon you. "A word lass; if you wouldn't mind."

Not like you had a choice so you followed the to-be king to the far edge of the clearing. He looked around and settled himself before speaking. He chooses his words carefully and spoke very precisely. "I apologize for my nephews, you wondered off and they went in search of you after finding blood on your saddle. They worried they had befallen to some injury today somehow-"

"Well they didn't so can we just leave it at..."

"-and Balin told me of the situation they found you in. I apologies for our ignorance of you…" he shifted his bulk awkwardly,"… condition. I hope not too much embarrassment came to you. They are good boys I assure you and meant no dishonor on to you."

"I understand. This really isn't-"

Thorin reached into his pocket and pulled out a water skin. "Oin gifted this to me for sore muscles" With a rare smile he almost laughed "I am not as young and resilient as I once was." He handed it to you. "It can be filled with hot water; my sister often suffers greatly during her curse week and often uses a bladder of hot water. Perhaps this will serve as a good substitute."

You froze holding the skin, not entirely capable of processing what was happening. "Uh… thank you _Thanu men." _You clutched the skin tightly.

"You may keep that for the journey, though I must ask that you notify me if you find yourself in this situation again. I cannot stop the company for long you understand but if you are in need of a few moments to gather yourself I will make an excuse for a moments rest as to not embarrass you."

"It doesn't embarrass me, but thank you Thorin." You smiled. You felt better already knowing that sweet hot relief was only a boiling pot of water away. "I'll get to it then."

Thorin nodded and walked you back to camp where the rest of the dwarves saw fit to keep their distance until they deemed it safe exactly a week later.


End file.
